Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
