I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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