Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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