The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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