Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
