Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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