There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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