theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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