So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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