Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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