I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
