Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
