are you still at the devil's house?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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