YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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