making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
