I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
