why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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