I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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