The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
