dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
