did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Someone signed my nipple.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
