You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize