If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My penis needs a shock collar
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
