I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
