Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
