Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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