I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
