then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize