Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
