I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
