I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
