Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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