Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
