This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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