My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
