Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
