I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
