He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
