apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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