He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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