glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
