and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
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Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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