I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
