everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
