so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
