There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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