I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
