I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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