the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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