im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
