did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize