So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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