kristin has been a bad kristin
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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