I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
