I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize