I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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