Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
