Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
